Friday, March 23, 2012

Emperor Palpatine Reads Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games

Editor's Note: A little lighthearted fun for the day! Here is the second installment in the Emperor Palpatine Reads series, begun on Valentines day with George R.R. Martin's A Game of Thrones. Today's installment comes just in time for the opening weekend of The Hunger Games movie! Enjoy!

Emperor Palpatine Reads
by Jeff Yonosick


THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins, as read by Emperor Palpatine/aka Darth Sidious:

Something....something...something...Everybody's hungry.
Something....something...something...Mocking Jay.
Something....something...something…May the odds be EVER in your favor!
Something....something...something...Katniss sounds like Catnip
Something....something...something...Peeta has a crush on Catnip,
Something....something...something...Games Begin.
Something....something...something...Dodging Fireballs
Something....something...something...Dropping a nest of angry mutant wasps on fellow tributes.
Something....something...something...Peeta saves Catnip.
Something....something...something...Catnip blows up other tribute’s food supply!
Something....something...something...Catnip fails attempting to save a 12 year old girl, speared
Something....something...something...Catnip free with kissing Peeta to get awarded by sponsors.
Something....something...something...Cato mauled by a pack of mutant mutts, mercy killing!
Something....something...something...Victory through manipulation and attempted double suicide!
Something....something...something...This is greater child exploitation than toddlers in tiaras!
Something....something...something...Children killing each other in a televised arena for food, I should have thought of that first YES!!!! Good, let the hatred flow through you Heh heh heh heh!



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